Thursday, May 27, 2010


I have these problems in my life. These emotional ups and downs. Things that just downright stress me out.

Things that run my life.

Distractions.

Today, I saw a man crossing the street, in a wheelchair.

Suddenly, my so-called problems turned to dust.

I can walk. I can play.
As of now, there is nothing to worry about.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Life is a Gift. Live it.


Taking pictures warms my soul.
Playing with a friend makes me smile.
Reading the Bible in the park is lovely.
Thai food is yummy.
Laughing is warming.
Pink sunsets are breath-taking.
Pictures, playing, laughing, eating, enjoying....
Living.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I Never Thought

I never thought I go could to the public school in the 7th grade and know where I was going.
I never thought I would ever be able to drive.
I never thought I would kiss a boy.
I never thought I would go to UCA.
I never thought I could actually get through high school.
I never thought I would do gymnastics.
I never thought I would travel.
I never thought I would turn eighteen.
I never thought I could get my wisdom teeth pulled.
I never thought I could make it through my first year of college.
I never thought I could actually get through that stressful week.
I never thought I would go to India.
I never thought I would have a guy in my life too amazing for words.
I never thought....

Every time I thought I couldn't or wouldn't... I did.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Love

I went to Spokane for the night to visit my sister. Her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her and it hurts me to see her hurt.

Love is so messy and complicated.
Not one person can tell another I will love you forever, and really know in the end that they WILL love that person FOREVER.
When people give their hearts away, it is a HUGE deal. By giving your heart away, you are saying, "here take all of me, to love me forever and ever, or to break my heart into a million pieces.

Love is two extremes. Love is unexpected.

I feel for those who hurt. Loss is hard.

Today I realized that I am so lucky to have a God that I can completely give my heart and no matter what he will never break it into a tiny little pieces. I hope my sister finds that out for herself, because it makes loving so much easier to know that no matter who comes and goes I have someone who loves me unconditionally, forever.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Accomplishment

I am not the best student.
I have always considered myself the "average" student.
Whether this is true or not, this is what I have told myself for a long time.

Monday, I felt different.

Gary Wiss is my Research Writing teacher, and anyone who knows who he is, knows that he is tough. He asks a lot from his students. It was pretty apparent that Gary's class would be a lot of work when I received his 40 page syllabus the first day of the quarter.

It has been assignment after assignment after assignment in his class. I am proud to say I have not missed ONE of his class periods.

Now, it is the end of the quarter and all my assignments have been handed in, and I am now in the process of editing my final research paper.

It feels good to be almost finished, but that isn't even the best part....

As I sat in class on Monday, I noticed I was one of the few still enrolled in the class, or at least still attending the class. I felt proud to be one of those students!

I truly feel like an all around better student because of Gary's class, he gives me the feeling of accomplishment. For once, I don't feel like just an "average" student anymore.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Home

I was home last weekend. The weekend was perfect.
I am going home this weekend. So many good things are waiting for me there.
Home is precious.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Keeping Up

It is winding down to the end of the quarter and I feel like I am hitting "FREAK OUT mode." You know how there are those dumb assignments teachers give us that aren't due until the end of the quarter? Well, I am one of those people who puts those assignments off until the end of the quarter. Why even give it to me now? Duh, I am not going to do it until the last minute... Sometimes I wish I was different, but then I remember how much fun I have when everyone else is keeping up with their homework!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Lately

Lately...India has been on my mind. I love that it makes me smile. When I talk about India, think about India, dream about India... something inside of me comes ALIVE!

This is what a good friend of mine from India said to me today:We love you not because of you are white but because we all are related through the blood of Christ.

It made me smile.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Bliss


I was tired today.
I looked homeless today. (No, seriously...Holes in my clothes. No shower. NOT so cute)
Today, I did terrible on a quiz and received a less than impressive test score.

Today, was just a day.

Some days I detach myself from India, because it hurts too much to think about.
Today I was so attached, I could barely lay down. I wanted to just go.
I am ready to go back. Oh, if I had the money I would be there, not a doubt in my mind.

I picture myself walking the roads, riding the rickshaws, sweating, careless, smiling, laughing at things that don't make sense, hugging my baby brother, laughing with amma, and swinging with my kids.

Today I pictured myself in complete and utter bliss.