Thursday, April 14, 2011

Scattered Thoughts and Japan

America is blessed. Truly blessed. Sometimes it is hard to remember how blessed we are, when we don't see and experience things outside our home, school, state, country, or even ourselves. I'm blessed.

I know a lot of people who have seen many awful and heart throbbing things. I know I have... But sometimes even if we have or haven't been out of the country, or even stepped out of our own environment, we forget there is SO much more out there. Outside of me and my social life, outside my deep missing for India, outside my homework, outside my family, my boyfriend, outside spokane...

There is just SO much outside.

Sometimes, I get frustrated with people and their ignorance. I sit there thinking, "They don't even know..." Once I came back from India, I was so frustrated with America in general.

All the materials, petty conversations, and bad attitudes...

People who have been on a mission trip know what I am talking about...You feel changed for a split moment after you return, and then you struggle to reach that ultimate high of contentment and closeness with God (that you once experienced somewhere else) for the rest of your life, but it just doesn't ever quite get there.

It's hard to want to be in America, when I have felt such frustration towards it. It's just that feeling of always needing to "go" because when I am here I am not doing what I NEED to be doing.

But when I am not here, I miss it. When I am "out there" there are a lot of things I miss.

This might sound a little patriotic...but I really do love our country.

I watch the news and listen to the radio and whenever their is a tragic disaster, whether it be in our country, or in Haiti, or Japan, we really do come together.

We have been thrown into this crazy world, where we are constantly surrounded by ugly things, but it amazes me that our countries can use each other for the better, and honestly make the world a better place. The way God intended it to be. Now, that is absolutely beautiful.