Jumping Out of the Box

I am a psychology major. It took me a long time to get to this point, but now that I am here, I feel pretty confident in my (hopefully) final choice of a degree. It is fun having a main focus in school now! My classes are becoming more alike and I have pretty much weaved through all the classes that have me thinking, "Why am I here?" all semester long. The interesting but almost scary thing about it all, is that I find myself consistently thinking in ways that involve A LOT more out-of-the-box thinking.

I am basically taking psychology and philosphy based classes right now. Can you imagine how much thinking goes through my head in one day?! LOTS. I sit in one class where I am learning to question everything I believe (don't worry, it isn't a class designed to change my beliefs), and then I sit in another where I learn that optimism is a pretty naive way to look at life.

But I love optimism!

I guess this is what growing up feels like. Where we start to learn that learning involves so much more than math, science, and english. Learning is so much more than knowing how to draw the structure of an organic compound or writing a paper on the most influential person in my life. No, learning isn't black and white. Learning well isn't about getting that A I wanted on my test.

Learning is scary and uncomfortable.

But I love this uncomfortable state of contemplating life's great mysteries and questions.

As an example often used in classes similar these, the questions, "When does one become an adult? When did you know you were woman? What classifies one as an adult?" always happen to come up. I think that I would say that I am finally starting to find myself becoming more of woman.

A Camera and Two Hands

Just recently I have begun to imagine what a film would be like, if the whole movie would be simply a camera following nothing but my hands. I think about how much my hands do and the things that they come into contact with...

My hands typing simple words onto a screen.

My pen drawing stars around notes that make me contemplate the world.

Moving my hands around different hands and arms.

Lifting my hands in praise.

My hands working as a team to cook.

Slapping my knee as my laughter consumes me.

My fingers in constant motion while communicating through an iphone.

Jewelry slipping on and off as the days go by.

Meeting new hands.

Comforting.

Cleaning.

Making mistakes.

Selling.

Reading.

Placing.

Grabbing clothes.

On a yoga mat.

Dancing. my hands are always dancing.

I wonder how much I would see? Would this film bring shame? Embarrassment? Pride? Smiles? Questions? Would my hands represent the character of a Woman of God? How much do these hands of mine reveal?

My hands tell stories.

Each day.

A new story.

"Think Good Thoughts"

I'm just gonna say it,
There's no using in delaying,
I'm tired of the angry hanging out inside me,

So I'll quiet down the devil,
I'm gonna knock him with a shovel,
And I'll burry all my troubles underneath the rubble

When I'm alone in my dark dark room,
I have to tell myself to,

Think good thoughts,
Think good thoughts,
Imagine what the world would be if we would just,
Think good thoughts,
Stop the bad from feeding,

I won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy,
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me,
That's how I want to be
Na, na, na, na

I'm not saying that it's easy,
Especially when I'm moody,
I might be cursing like a sailor till I remind myself I'm better,

Cause words can be like weapons,
Oh and you use them, you regret them,
Oh but I'm not gonna let them take away my heaven

And when I start feeling blue,
I remember to tell myself to,

Think good thoughts,
Think good thoughts,
Imagine what the world would be if we would just,
Think good thoughts,
Stop the bad from feeding,

I won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy,
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me,
That's how I want to be

I just think rain on a summer night,
Stars filling up the sky,
Sunshining on my face,
Making a secret wish,
Finding my happiness,
That always makes me hold my head up high,
I wanna hold my head up high,

I wanna think good thoughts (Imagine what the world would be if we would just think good thoughts)
I wanna think good thoughts (wouldn't that be something?)
I won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy,
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me,
That's how I want to be
Na, na, na, na