Thursday, May 24, 2012

Dancing Alone

I am home for the summer and not used to the life that I am living. My busy hectic schedule is no longer existent and it has left me feeling somewhat "life naked." I always want the opposite of what I am experiencing at the time- if I am busy, I want to relax. If I am always around people, I want alone time. If I am alone, I am lonely. If I am free, I wish I was busy.

I am free and no longer surrounded by five other friends in my home, and wishing I was busy and back in my home, with my busy schedule, with my best friends...but since I can't be. I've decided to use weeding 2000 dahlias as therapy. I've decided to use yard tools as my microphones. And to dance like a ridiculous person in the dirt, alone. I think I am more strange when I am alone, but isn't everybody?

My sister and I once had a conversation about all the weird things we did when we were alone... We were in tears from laughing so hard.

Today, I decided to smile randomly throughout my day... I felt really creepy... Kinda like the Joker from Dark Knight

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Struggling Changes People

My sister Whitney and best friend are in Thailand on their first mission trip. I got to talk to them for the first time last night, and it was quite exciting to hear their voices. There have been so many times since they left, that I have wanted to text them something funny or random in my day, and I can't.

I heard they were miserable when they first got there, but they are doing MUCH better since I last talked to them. It was so great to hear Whitney speak like I used to speak about my experiences in India. It makes India feel so real and alive in my life once again. She is beginning to see the strength it takes to serve others and to let go of the daily things we dwell on. She sees the beauty in the small things, and understands what we take for granted.

Ahhh I miss that. It doesn't make me envious, but more than anything, it makes me miss India. I miss those struggles, and I miss those days when it seems like the only thing you can do is to break down and give it all to God. I miss the days when I have to search to find the beauty around me, and be thankful because I have SO much.

Although Whit is struggling, I am so glad she is. Because without mission trips that break us down and make us really miss home and certain types of foods and comfy beds and air conditioning, we become immune to how blessed we really are. And once we can take those moments to understand the great wealth around us, we can learn to be better people. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm not ready to say goodbye to you

Makayla Hamilton is her name. 

This year was completed by her presence. We scream across campus, run to each other every time we see each other, and there is never a dull moment. She is my outlet, she knows my secrets. I'm really not sure what I am going to do without her next her. Saying goodbye is absolutely heartbreaking. Here is to a year with you best friend....