Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Will Miss These Guys

After my grandpa died, I went back to Spokane for a few days to get some belongings and to visit my friends. It felt good to get out of the place that reminded me so much of my grandpa. When I was gone, I felt something besides exhaustion and sadness, and it felt like a little bit of me was back to old again. It is hard to see someone suffer, and the sadness and closeness that I felt to the family and my grandpa will forever be in my heart.

My boyfriend and I broke up the same week that I found out my grandpa was dying. There are two instances in my life where there was a death in the family and a breaking heart at the same time. At these moments, I really feel like there is not much else that can make me feel any worse...

But at the same time, there is nothing else that can make me feel better than the unity of a family brought together to celebrate the life of the greatest person we ever knew.

In these last few weeks my heart has been chipped at little by little as I say goodbye to a grandpa that is an icon of love, and a boy who I truly find unique, and at one point thought he was my perfect match. Although I have sent away pieces of my heart to travel along into someone else's life, it has left me stronger and thankful, for the moments I have shared, and the memories that have been created.

Now, I get to spend time with my grandma and keep learning new things about my grandpa and the wonderful life he lived. He is an icon of love, and touched every heart he came into contact with. I have been able to witness the longest marriage I know personally, and it has shown me the relationship that I pray for one day. And I pray for the man that is so similar to my grandpa Blaine- because he really was a "dream boy."