Throwing Myself

I have always been afraid. I would say fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things over the course of my lifetime. My greatest fear is not being good enough. I don't think this an uncommon thought at all, most people I talk with have felt this way at least once.

But I think I have thought this way for too long.

The great thing about a new school year is a new start. Something FRESH!

This year I am doubling my newness with a new year and a new school.

I love Whitworth. It is such a great school, and I am completely enjoying my new life in Spokane.

This year I decided to place myself in the world of the fearless.

Fearless of being alone and trying new things. I went to wild walls by myself last week and I was super nervous and intimidated. I kinda just stood and stared at the routes for awhile, trying to figure how I was going to boulder without looking like a total amateur. Eventually, I just started climbing, then I started asking for help, then I started making friends, then I was improving. I love being fearless! I did something new and I was all by myself.

I am learning how much fun it can be to just throw myself around in this crazy world.

I drive 30 minutes to school everyday. Then at the end of my day I drive 30 minutes back home. Sometimes I leave home at 9 and sometimes I leave at 12. At 12 there is a lot of traffic, but yet I seem to usually only be about 5 minutes behind schedule.

I thought driving such a long distance everyday would be a pain, but I actually enjoy it.

I have time to pray, think, talk to myself, play my steering wheel, smile at strangers, sing at the top of my lungs, bob my head.

I recently discovered the bell keychain on my key ring sounds like a tiny tambourine when I hit it with my knee. Which if you think about it... a tiny tambourine would be so cute!

I have a new friend that recommends driving in silence and making my own music. I am gonna try it one of these days!

Awkward Moments and Saggy Bodies

I go to OZ Fitness everyday to work out. I usually run, lift, then hit the sauna and end in the pool. I am really into my time at the gym. It's my interrupted time to do whatever I want, think, and meet new people.

I happen to have some sort of story just about every time I am there.

I ALWAYS have awkward moments.

When I am in the sauna, I read. Well, I try...Most of the time it is me and one other person trying to avoid the awkwardness of what is supposed to be our "relaxing time." I try reading, but instead I always sit there thinking about the other person. "What is he like?" "What does she do during the day?" "I wonder how old he is and where he goes to college ;)?" "Come on Hillary, just break the silence. Ask them how they are doing!" Today, I sucked it up and started with "Whoo, it's hot in here." Haha that just sounds ridiculous....

Today, I ran into a teacher who came in and subbed for my Spanish class for a few weeks my junior year. She waved at me and started talking to me, but she thought I was Whitney (my younger sister). I told her I was Hillary, and then it was awkward. I was a little bummed a teacher of mine didn't recognize me, and she was embarrassed she thought I was Whitney. Yep, that's an awkward moment.

I have a huge spot in my heart for the elderly. Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my favorite days to go to the gym before 9, because I get to talk with the elderly ladies just as they finish water aerobics and are hitting the showers. As they prance around laughing about their saggy bodies, they always tell me how great I look or how cute my bathing suit is. Something about my suit really draws their attention, it is so weird. It's just a Target two piece that is two years old, but they LOVE it. These beautiful ladies bring a lot joy to my life. Today, I met Joe, she was hard at hearing with bright white hair. Joe was a cutie.

Hmmm.... Beautiful.

"What I have in God is greater than what I don't have in life."

Too Darn Cute

This is my grandpa.

He is literally cuter than babies and puppies.

Taylor

My childhood best friend was Taylor. We were crazy together.

ALWAYS laughing. With such a small selection of friends (growing up in a small town n' all) we just kept to ourselves. The other girls hated us for it, but we loved our "Tay and Hill world" that we leaped into everyday in the 7th and 8th grade. I would have to say, that junior high was close to the best years of my life.

Mostly, because of Taylor.

It is great to look back on times and really be able to feel what you used to feel.

I cherish memories like those. The ones that make you really FEEL.

It is hard not laugh. We were crazy! Always running around the cafeteria at lunch causing trouble. When we were in Miss Wick's 7th grade Social Studies class, we had to recite "Caesar's Eulogy" which was a PRETTY HARD THING TO LEARN. After many hours memorizing line after line, I got up in front of the class to get my A.

My A went faster than I thought. Having Taylor in the front row of my class did not help, we couldn't stop laughing. Eventually, Miss Wick made Taylor move to the back so I could finish. I started over and got my A! Phew! That Taylor... ;)

Now, Taylor is getting ready to walk down the aisle to marry the boy she has been in love with since she was 15. I was the first one to know when she first kissed a boy (her soon-to- be husband). I am proud to be a bridesmaid in a few short days! Taylor and I are going to rock that dance floor!

Whitworth, here I come! I am pretty excited. I have peace, and it feels good.