I can't write you down

I was talking with a friend who is stuck in a sticky situation with a past love of hers. We laid in our backyard eating dinner with our hands and just talking about boys... Girls do this OH SO WELL.

When it comes to who we are going to love or let go, it is a life-changing and sometimes the most heartbreaking moment one will ever experience. It always helps to try and sort things out when we compare what we had with another person and why this ONE single person can have such an impact on our hearts.

I was 15 when I started my list of qualities that I wanted in the person I married. Of course the list was the "perfect boy." I added and subtracted as I got older and dated more and more. Let me make this clear, by stating more and more, I mean I dated a lot. All different boys, and mostly for very short periods of time. I learned from each one and sometimes I felt like that boy was quite perfect.

I met Drew two years ago, and I can't say he is everything on my list. He is better. I can honestly say he has qualities I never could have imagined to put on that list (the good qualities). He isn't that "perfect boy" but he is perfect for me.

I'm not sure if there really is one person created for everyone, but I do know that for some reason I am in love with a boy that I couldn't make into list. 

dear God, thank you for this beautiful life and forgive me if i don't love it enough

I am in the process of applying to graduate school right now. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that I was graduating in December. Since that exciting and scary realization, I have begun to see everyday as closer to this part of my life that is ending. 

I was really freaking out the first couple weeks of school. I went from being this student ready for her senior year, to a frantic almost graduate that felt totally unprepared. From one life moment to the next. Everyday is getting closer to December.

Loans...BLEH

Growing up...

Planning...

Resumes...

Applications...

Research...

Goodbyes...

There is so much to think about when we venture off into a new chapter. I think about all those big life changing hoops I've jumped through , and how great life has really turned out for me... 

So, when I am planning the future I tell myself, "Everything is going to be OK." My mom taught me that one, and it is one of the most true statements I've heard. 

PS- Meet my best friends and roomies- I'm so very thankful for these 5 ladies.

Blessings and Gravity

I am completely blessed to be at the Northeast Youth Center, that place completes the “helper” in me. I have set my goals, and am already focusing on what I can do to fulfill these goals through the children and my experience there. Right now, I am trying to be as genuinely kind as I can, so that I can really gain the trust and love of the little tikes in my life. The counselor inside me wants to know the history of these children’s lives- where they came from, where they are, what makes them sad or happy, and most of all, why?

I am so passionate about developmental psychology; it helps me create the stories of these children. My two main focuses are Kobe and Sam. Kobe is absolutely adorable, super easy kid for the most part. Kobe has autism, and I think that is probably why he is one of the favorites at the center. I have never had experience with autism, so it excites me to be able to observe and interact with Kobe. Sam is pretty difficult, sometimes rough at times, and she seems very disconnected in some way. I am not sure if Sam has actually been diagnosed with a disorder, but I can tell I learn a lot from her. Sam gravitates toward me, and although she may not be a favorite, she makes me feel important and special too, it’s a precious thing.