Love people until they ask you why.

Religion

I am entering my 4th week at Whitworth University today, and the newness of everything is starting to fade away.

My first few days at Whitworth I felt like I was a senior in high school jumping into my first year of college. Not just any senior though, a UCA senior. I felt sheltered and conservative....Two things I have never felt before. I thought Whitworth was going to be the Walla Walla of Presbyterians (whatever that really means). And I was wrong...Here are the few things that crossed my mind over and over again:

"Boys and girls can be in the same dorm?"

"Boys and girls can be in the same room?! WHAT?"

"Um...girl, you need to put that cig out right now! Is anyone else seeing what I am seeing?"

"Dancing? All the time?"

"My teacher cusses a lot."

"Happy Sabbath! Oh wait..."

"Church on Sabbath this weekend or church on Sunday?"

"Nobody here believes what I believe...What do I even believe?"

I have been a little confused lately...At Walla Walla it was kinda just assumed everyone believed the same things, and everyone did the same things. It made it easy for me to decide where I stood or what I believed or did, because everyone around me was doing it.

I was shaped by my environment.

Now, I am in a different environment forcing myself to stand strong. I am trying to figure out where I am religiously, and although I never thought I would ever feel stuck in a place of Religion... I am.

Throwing Myself

I have always been afraid. I would say fear has stopped me from doing a lot of things over the course of my lifetime. My greatest fear is not being good enough. I don't think this an uncommon thought at all, most people I talk with have felt this way at least once.

But I think I have thought this way for too long.

The great thing about a new school year is a new start. Something FRESH!

This year I am doubling my newness with a new year and a new school.

I love Whitworth. It is such a great school, and I am completely enjoying my new life in Spokane.

This year I decided to place myself in the world of the fearless.

Fearless of being alone and trying new things. I went to wild walls by myself last week and I was super nervous and intimidated. I kinda just stood and stared at the routes for awhile, trying to figure how I was going to boulder without looking like a total amateur. Eventually, I just started climbing, then I started asking for help, then I started making friends, then I was improving. I love being fearless! I did something new and I was all by myself.

I am learning how much fun it can be to just throw myself around in this crazy world.

I drive 30 minutes to school everyday. Then at the end of my day I drive 30 minutes back home. Sometimes I leave home at 9 and sometimes I leave at 12. At 12 there is a lot of traffic, but yet I seem to usually only be about 5 minutes behind schedule.

I thought driving such a long distance everyday would be a pain, but I actually enjoy it.

I have time to pray, think, talk to myself, play my steering wheel, smile at strangers, sing at the top of my lungs, bob my head.

I recently discovered the bell keychain on my key ring sounds like a tiny tambourine when I hit it with my knee. Which if you think about it... a tiny tambourine would be so cute!

I have a new friend that recommends driving in silence and making my own music. I am gonna try it one of these days!

Awkward Moments and Saggy Bodies

I go to OZ Fitness everyday to work out. I usually run, lift, then hit the sauna and end in the pool. I am really into my time at the gym. It's my interrupted time to do whatever I want, think, and meet new people.

I happen to have some sort of story just about every time I am there.

I ALWAYS have awkward moments.

When I am in the sauna, I read. Well, I try...Most of the time it is me and one other person trying to avoid the awkwardness of what is supposed to be our "relaxing time." I try reading, but instead I always sit there thinking about the other person. "What is he like?" "What does she do during the day?" "I wonder how old he is and where he goes to college ;)?" "Come on Hillary, just break the silence. Ask them how they are doing!" Today, I sucked it up and started with "Whoo, it's hot in here." Haha that just sounds ridiculous....

Today, I ran into a teacher who came in and subbed for my Spanish class for a few weeks my junior year. She waved at me and started talking to me, but she thought I was Whitney (my younger sister). I told her I was Hillary, and then it was awkward. I was a little bummed a teacher of mine didn't recognize me, and she was embarrassed she thought I was Whitney. Yep, that's an awkward moment.

I have a huge spot in my heart for the elderly. Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my favorite days to go to the gym before 9, because I get to talk with the elderly ladies just as they finish water aerobics and are hitting the showers. As they prance around laughing about their saggy bodies, they always tell me how great I look or how cute my bathing suit is. Something about my suit really draws their attention, it is so weird. It's just a Target two piece that is two years old, but they LOVE it. These beautiful ladies bring a lot joy to my life. Today, I met Joe, she was hard at hearing with bright white hair. Joe was a cutie.

Hmmm.... Beautiful.

"What I have in God is greater than what I don't have in life."