God Gift

Endure. Endure. Endure!

I talked with Troy Fitzgerald (Youth Pastor at University Church) yesterday and these were the words that came out of his mouth.

"It is time to endure."

After seeing the world, my dreams and aspirations changed. A LOT! The last four months I have been asking myself the same question almost everyday.

Why am I here?

Why am I going to school? Traveling is my best teacher.

Why am I getting a degree? My dream job does not even involve a stinkin' degree.

What is really in store for me? If I don't even know, then I shouldn't be going to school to figure it out. I should figure it out then do something.

I was supposed to talk to Troy about my mission, and we moved from India to life in just an hour. I have a lot going through my head, a lot of good exciting things happening, and right now I am antsy. I feel like Troy was a gift from God yesterday, because he said the things I needed to hear.

I love it when that happens! When God speaks directly to me through the people around me. I am glad I caught it, because God works in mysterious ways.

Now, I am enduring. Because that's what we do. We ENDURE. We accomplish. And in the end we are better people because of it.

I have these problems in my life. These emotional ups and downs. Things that just downright stress me out.

Things that run my life.

Distractions.

Today, I saw a man crossing the street, in a wheelchair.

Suddenly, my so-called problems turned to dust.

I can walk. I can play.

As of now, there is nothing to worry about.

Life is a Gift. Live it.

Taking pictures warms my soul.
Playing with a friend makes me smile.
Reading the Bible in the park is lovely.
Thai food is yummy.
Laughing is warming.
Pink sunsets are breath-taking.
Pictures, playing, laughing, eating, enjoying....
Living.

I Never Thought

I never thought I go could to the public school in the 7th grade and know where I was going.
I never thought I would ever be able to drive.
I never thought I would kiss a boy.
I never thought I would go to UCA.
I never thought I could actually get through high school.
I never thought I would do gymnastics.
I never thought I would travel.
I never thought I would turn eighteen.
I never thought I could get my wisdom teeth pulled.
I never thought I could make it through my first year of college.
I never thought I could actually get through that stressful week.
I never thought I would go to India.
I never thought I would have a guy in my life too amazing for words.
I never thought....

Every time I thought I couldn't or wouldn't... I did.

Love

I went to Spokane for the night to visit my sister. Her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her and it hurts me to see her hurt.

Love is so messy and complicated.
Not one person can tell another I will love you forever, and really know in the end that they WILL love that person FOREVER.
When people give their hearts away, it is a HUGE deal. By giving your heart away, you are saying, "here take all of me, to love me forever and ever, or to break my heart into a million pieces.

Love is two extremes. Love is unexpected.

I feel for those who hurt. Loss is hard.

Today I realized that I am so lucky to have a God that I can completely give my heart and no matter what he will never break it into a tiny little pieces. I hope my sister finds that out for herself, because it makes loving so much easier to know that no matter who comes and goes I have someone who loves me unconditionally, forever.

Accomplishment

I am not the best student.
I have always considered myself the "average" student.
Whether this is true or not, this is what I have told myself for a long time.

Monday, I felt different.

Gary Wiss is my Research Writing teacher, and anyone who knows who he is, knows that he is tough. He asks a lot from his students. It was pretty apparent that Gary's class would be a lot of work when I received his 40 page syllabus the first day of the quarter.

It has been assignment after assignment after assignment in his class. I am proud to say I have not missed ONE of his class periods.

Now, it is the end of the quarter and all my assignments have been handed in, and I am now in the process of editing my final research paper.

It feels good to be almost finished, but that isn't even the best part....

As I sat in class on Monday, I noticed I was one of the few still enrolled in the class, or at least still attending the class. I felt proud to be one of those students!

I truly feel like an all around better student because of Gary's class, he gives me the feeling of accomplishment. For once, I don't feel like just an "average" student anymore.

Home

I was home last weekend. The weekend was perfect.
I am going home this weekend. So many good things are waiting for me there.
Home is precious.